Breaking through

Dying just to hear the word he

Reminded constantly that he was born a she

As he looks in the mirror

The pictures in his head become clearer

That the person inside

The one screaming and crying

That voice that laughs at him, tells him he'll never be

but proudly he'll stand, a man, you'll see

~Written by Crystal~

While talking with my partner Crystal tonight she chose to share with me a piece she had written. It is short but I can feel comes from her heart as we continue on this journey to making my transition complete.When I listened to her read it and then I read it again myself, I can not help but have tear fill my eyes. I can not express enough how lucky I am to have someone standing beside me willing to understand me and help be my support in this uncertain time. 

I say uncertain only because life is full of changes, but these are big changes. With change comes fear. Fear of the unknown, of the effect it will have on me and the ones around me. But together we are facing fear head on and moving forward strong.

A few updates....

my binder was shipped today WOOT WOOT and is somewhere in between Florida and here..I am excited. 

A doctors appointment has been made, but I will talk more about that when the time gets closer.

 

Crystal also marks this day as a "breakthrough" because today while at the mall I made a decision that was almost scary in a way. We were waiting for our movie to start and I felt the need to use the restroom...now most of the time it would be like second nature to simply walk into a public restroom, claim a stall, take care of business, wash your hands and leave. For transgendered people like myself that is not always as easy as it sounds. How do you walk into a female restroom looking like a man, and how do you walk into a men's restroom knowing there may be one guy in there that pays a little more attention then all the others.  But never the less nature called and I did what I had to. Heart racing, palms sweaty I walked into the men's room, past a man standing at the sink and into a stall closest to the door (in case I had to run). Now this may seem like a funny story but it's not. It's reality. I entered the stall, did what I needed to, washed my hands and left the restroom with no problems. Upon exiting I realized how nice it is to be able to simply use the restroom without being questioned,harassed or stared at. You must realize in life some of the things that seem so natural to you, are the ones you take for granted.

until next time....love and peace

~Jason~