So I thought I would stop by to update everyone on the last few days....My binder came in on Thursday. I was excited to see the name "Jason Gilliam" on the shipping label and excited to open it. My girlfriend took pictures as I ripped open the package revealing my binder inside. I was on cloud 9...After wiggling my way into my new binder I quickly realized it wasn't going to give me the result I was looking for. Now mind you I don't have a large chest but that style of binder is just not the right one of me. It doesn't do much up top and is more like a skin tight "wife beater" T~shirt then anything else. So I am back to layering clothes and wearing the maternity support belt around my chest. I will not give up though. Sooner or later I will find the right fit for me until I can save up enough to have them removed all together.
On Friday I had a conversation with someone very dear to me...She is having trouble wrapping her mind around the idea of me going from Amber to Jason....The thought of me taking hormones(testosterone) and having surgeries(top surgery and hysterectomy) scare her. Only because she loves me so much. I respect her opinion very much and wish I knew how to make this transition easier on her, the only thing I know to do is pray for her. Pray that she in her own time comes to a place where she can accept this change, embrace the person I am becoming and move forward loving me. I pray to God I don't lose her or her family, they mean more to me then I could ever put into words. I have told her and I will tell all of you following this transition, I would never do anything I haven't put thought and prayer into. This process is a long and slow one that I know, but I assure you it is a safe one.
Change is never easy for anyone to accept. As I have said before the fear of the unknown is a scary thing. I am moving forward not on my own but with many people by my side. I am well informed and have spent hours making sure that the next step I take is always the best and safest one. I have a doctors appointment set for December 8th. but I will talk more about it when it gets closer. For now things are falling into place one step at a time and I have binders to research cause I'm going to need a new one at some point lol.
until next time....love and peace
~Jason~
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