What Lies Beneath

Ok so in this post I would like to share a few things with you. For those that think being a FtM(female to male) transgendered person is easy..I encourage you to to look into it, research a little and you will see just how hard it truly is. Finding a good doctor you can trust is hard, being accepted in society is hard, using a public restroom is hard, and showing an ID that clearly has a different name and picture on it is even harder....

Right now I have my old DL from California...In the picture you can see me before I cut my hair off, without glasses(because they make you remove them before the picture) and my birth name of Amber. So when I show up to a bar, gas station or public establishment and swipe my card. I am almost always questioned because of the differences between me and the person shown on my license. That will soon be changed, my goal is by my 25th birthday on September 10th 2011, to have it all changed. There are a few things that need to happen first lol...one small step at a time ladies and gentle beings =0)

The second thing I would like to talk about is Binding.....yes I said binding. Which is where you stick your chesticles(yes boobs) into a very tight space and make them as flat as possible to wear under a tight shirt, or to simply "pass" as a man. It's hard to explain looking like a man with boobs (trust me not a fun conversation). Now I'm not saying I have the biggest chest in the world because clearly I do not, but hiding what I do have is a task in itself.

Up to this point I have tried;

1.) Packing tape~Yeah that hurt like a mofo to put on AND take off...I wouldn't not recommend that one

2.) Ace Bandage~ While that one wasn't as painful, the ability to breathe was completely cut off. If you want to be able to get oxygen into your lungs I would suggest not binding with an ace bandage.

3.) Sports Bra~ Not 1 but 3...in layers they seem to help with binding a little...problem with this method is laundry gets a lot more expensive for 1 and 2 wearing 5 layers of clothing (i.e 3 sports bras, under shirt, and top shirt) gets a little old.

4.) Maternity Support belt~ Now hear me out on this one!!! As odd as that may sound it WORKS...but as a temporary fix to solve your problem. I would not recommend wearing it for extended amounts of time as it does cause irritation to the back. Although it is much easier to breathe and the rang of motion is not effected, it is still only a temporary fix.

Today I ordered my first actual chest binder from www.underworks.com ....It should be coming in the mail in a few days. I spent quite some time going over reviews for the different binders that this company sells and some of the top ones were the 473,983, 997, and the 998 models. For my first binder I chose the model 473 which is very similar to the 998 tank model. So in a few days I will let you know how that goes.

So enough about binding for now!!! =P

Something else pretty awesome in my world also happened this evening. My partner Crystal and I are how do I say this.....ADDICTED to Facebook..lol....She was surfing her site this evening playing a game...The rules of the game were her friends could as her any question no matter what and she would answer it as her status....well this is a question one friend asked...

Q: Why are you dating an girl that wants to be a man, but are claiming to be gay?

and this was her answer...

Answer :All I got to say I am a little taken back by this question..a little offended..maybe its the way they worded it. Okay...First off I am NOT dating a girl who WANTS to be a man, I am dating a MAN trapped in a females body.There is a difference. Second off, Who invents these damn labels?? I don't have to be anybody but ME and I'll date who I want, whether they be a girl or a guy. Third off, I suggest you look up Transgendered, Google it. :)

When she told me about that I was in shock...first off at the question, I know I've been asked a lot of random questions up to this point and so has Crystal. That question was just very complex, which lead to my shock at her answer. I will be honest when I read her answer I grinned from ear to ear. Not only is Crystal proud to be who she is, but she is also proud to call me hers and is truly begining to understands me. Yeah we still have our moments from time to time, but the more we sit and research and learn together, the closer we become. I couldn't ask for more.

So stay tuned, when I receive my binder I will do another post just to let you know how it works out...I may even post a picture or 2 =0)...

Until next time....love and peace

~Jason~